Playing Big.

I recently picked up this book from the sale table of a local bookshop. I found it an interesting and thought-provoking read.

It’s aimed at any woman with an ambition, a goal, a dream in her life, particularly around careers. If you’re looking for the practical how-to-claw-your-way-to-the-top stuff, this is not the book for you. Instead Playing Big deals with the heart stuff that so many of us women seem to struggle with: negative self-talk, mentoring, fear, praise and criticism, communication, etc etc.

Some of it didn’t resonate - the chapter about visualising a conversation with yourself 20 years in the future as a way of tapping into your inner wisdom left me cold. But for most of the book I found myself laughing, cringing, and nodding my head enthusiastically by turns as I read, because so much of it was familiar to me.

For me, Playing Big is very relevant right now because my goal is to leave my job and become a freelance proofreader and editor. I'm studying for a Diploma in Proofreading and Editing, which is a good first step. But I didn't want to graduate half-way through next year and then wonder, what do I do next?

So after reading this book I decided to take a big step {or a leap, as Ms Mohr calls it} – something that I’d been thinking about for a while. I wrote a post on Facebook, telling everyone that I was doing this diploma, was looking for real-life work experience, and was willing to work for free in exchange for a testimonial if the person was happy with my work. {I plan to set up a website for my work next year, so I will publish any testimonials I receive there.}

It was scary putting myself out there like that, but I'm very glad I did it. The response was not overwhelming but it was steady. I was asked to proofread two academic assignments, one book, and the text of one website. Someone else sent me the contact details of an author who was looking for a proofreader. Another woman, who owns a PR agency, has sent me several documents to proofread - and this is likely {fingers crossed} to lead to paid work next year.

Most importantly, this work experience has shown me just how much I love this work, and how much I want to make a living from it.

Anne-Marie x

A Pagan year, part two

Ngaio flower

Beltane, at the start of this month, marked one year since I decided to spend 12 months living as a Pagan.

It's been an interesting year. I've learned a lot - about myself, my spiritual beliefs, and Paganism in general. I thought I would share with you some of the things I've learned this year.

I've learned that I am a Pagan and probably - despite being a devout and unquestioning Catholic into my twenties - have always been a Pagan on some level. As a child I knew the sacredness of the natural world {nothing to do with being made by God}, which is a central belief of modern Paganism. I was also very much an animist as child, believing things like trees and rocks and river had their own unique spirits. I still believe that, too.

More specifically, I follow a Druid path within Paganism. At the Spring Equinox I joined the Druid Network. You can read more about the Druid Network and what they believe and do here.

I've discovered, to my own surprise, that I am at the sceptical end of Paganism. I follow no gods or goddesses; and I have no interest in casting spells, drawing tarot cards, or calling myself a witch. For me what matters is the sacredness of the natural world {of which humans are a part}, honouring the ancestors, and observing the seasonal festivals. Anything else is an optional extra.

I've discovered the joy of spiritual community. Through Facebook I discovered a small but growing local Pagan group, and we have met for every festival from Midwinter onwards. We are a diverse lot, but our festival celebrations have a joy about them that uplifts me for weeks afterwards.

I've learned that Pagans can be a pain in the arse, and that fundamentalist Pagans exist {just as, I expect, fundamentalists exist in every other religion}. But Pagans can also be warm, welcoming, caring, and fun. They're interesting and questioning, and most of them love a good debate. In the past couple of weeks I have had online discussions and debates with Pagans on the following topics: the ethics of magic, the correct date to celebrate Beltane in the southern hemisphere, whether atheists can also be Pagans, whether Satanists can also be Pagans, how open people are about their Pagan faith, the work of a forest conservation group in England, whether Christmas is a Jewish festival {what?!}, and where my Pagan group will celebrate the Summer Solstice.

Of all the debates I became involved in, the Satanist {who freaked me out when I first encountered her} was the most polite and most willing to explain her beliefs to me. For the record, Satanism will never be my cup of tea but it was interesting to learn about this faith, about which I knew almost nothing.

Anne-Marie x