A Pagan year, part two

Ngaio flower

Beltane, at the start of this month, marked one year since I decided to spend 12 months living as a Pagan.

It's been an interesting year. I've learned a lot - about myself, my spiritual beliefs, and Paganism in general. I thought I would share with you some of the things I've learned this year.

I've learned that I am a Pagan and probably - despite being a devout and unquestioning Catholic into my twenties - have always been a Pagan on some level. As a child I knew the sacredness of the natural world {nothing to do with being made by God}, which is a central belief of modern Paganism. I was also very much an animist as child, believing things like trees and rocks and river had their own unique spirits. I still believe that, too.

More specifically, I follow a Druid path within Paganism. At the Spring Equinox I joined the Druid Network. You can read more about the Druid Network and what they believe and do here.

I've discovered, to my own surprise, that I am at the sceptical end of Paganism. I follow no gods or goddesses; and I have no interest in casting spells, drawing tarot cards, or calling myself a witch. For me what matters is the sacredness of the natural world {of which humans are a part}, honouring the ancestors, and observing the seasonal festivals. Anything else is an optional extra.

I've discovered the joy of spiritual community. Through Facebook I discovered a small but growing local Pagan group, and we have met for every festival from Midwinter onwards. We are a diverse lot, but our festival celebrations have a joy about them that uplifts me for weeks afterwards.

I've learned that Pagans can be a pain in the arse, and that fundamentalist Pagans exist {just as, I expect, fundamentalists exist in every other religion}. But Pagans can also be warm, welcoming, caring, and fun. They're interesting and questioning, and most of them love a good debate. In the past couple of weeks I have had online discussions and debates with Pagans on the following topics: the ethics of magic, the correct date to celebrate Beltane in the southern hemisphere, whether atheists can also be Pagans, whether Satanists can also be Pagans, how open people are about their Pagan faith, the work of a forest conservation group in England, whether Christmas is a Jewish festival {what?!}, and where my Pagan group will celebrate the Summer Solstice.

Of all the debates I became involved in, the Satanist {who freaked me out when I first encountered her} was the most polite and most willing to explain her beliefs to me. For the record, Satanism will never be my cup of tea but it was interesting to learn about this faith, about which I knew almost nothing.

Anne-Marie x

Dedication.

I come here at this festival of Beltane,

to dedicate myself to this Path.

I dedicate myself to the honour of my ancestors,

both those I know and those I don't.

May their heritage never be lost,

so long as I am alive.

I dedicate myself to the honour of Earth

and all who call her home.

May I learn to leave a light footprint

on our Mother, and may I never take her beauty

and blessings for granted.

I dedicate myself to the honour of the ancestors

of the land, wherever on Earth I may be.

I dedicate myself to the honour of the Divine,

may I always be open to its mystery.

I dedicate myself to the honour of the

Wheel of the Year. May I keep its festivals holy,

wherever on Earth I am.

I dedicate myself to the honour of all

who walk this Path with me,

whether or not they call themselves Pagan.

May I walk my Path with

truth, beauty, passion, kindness, and honour.

Blessed be.


{Wishing you a blessed season, whether you are celebrating Beltane, Samhain, Hallowe'en or All Saints Day.}

Choosing Paganism.

Waxing moon with Venus and Jupiter
19 July, 2015

Sometimes I think it would be easier for me to have followed almost any other religion than Paganism. Surely converting to Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Judaism must be simpler than Paganism. I know that if I’d returned to the faith I was born into, Catholicism, my spiritual beliefs would have been guided by the teachings of the Church and the Bible. If I was unclear on any beliefs I could have talked to a priest or a spiritual director to have my doubts set straight.

Exactly what modern day Pagans believe is really hard to pin down. I’ve written before about the three principles of the Pagan Federation, and how they resonated with me when I first read them. Beyond those three principles, things can get pretty murky.

You would struggle to identify what Pagans believe about God because Pagans choose their own gods and/or goddesses {or, the gods and goddesses choose them}. Paganism seems to be dominated by Wiccans who follow the Goddess and the God – but even that isn't simple. Then there are those who follow Asatru / Heathenism, and worship the Norse pantheon of gods and goddesses. Other Pagans worship the Celtic deities. Or the Greek. Or the Roman. Or the ancient Egyptian. Some, with indigenous roots, honour the gods of their culture. Others honour their ancestors. Yet other Pagans are actively atheist or non-theist. Some Pagans do spellwork, read cards, work with crystals, use shaman practices, meditate … and some don’t.

As you can imagine, for a new Pagan it can be a truly dizzying array of gods and goddesses, beliefs, and spiritual practices to get your head around. Because Paganism is more of a religious movement than an organised religion, new Pagans often have little real-life guidance unless they join a coven. I felt overwhelmed when I began to ponder the question, just what do I believe in?

But the flip side of this is the ability to choose whatever is right for you. When you become a Pagan you are not confined to a set of beliefs. God is not a prescribed being.

The first thing I discovered is that even though it's a long time since I called myself a Christian, some of the beliefs I had as a Christian were still entrenched. For example, I was very determinedly monotheistic, and expected that wouldn't change once I became a Pagan. But I thought about it a lot, tried out many different devotions, and wrote about it in my journal. I discovered I am - surprise, surprise! - mostly non-theist.

You'll notice I said mostly non-theist. That's because a certain Celtic goddess keeps appearing in my devotions and I feel I have no choice but to follow that. For the most part, however, my Pagan prayers are to the dawn, the sky, the moon, the ancestors, and are expressions of what is in my heart.

I expect this process of working out my own personal theology to take a long time, maybe the rest of my life. It's early days yet ... so expect more theological ramblings from me another time.

My first Samhain.

Samhain altar, which includes photos of grandparents and great-grandparents.

At the end of April I celebrated my first Samhain {pronounced SOW-en}.

Samhain marks the start of winter and is one of four major pre-Christian Celtic festivals {the others are Imbolc - start of spring; Beltane - start of summer; and Lughnasadh / Lunastal - the start of autumn}. Of course, Samhain is supposed to be celebrated at the end of October, as it still is in the northern hemisphere, but there seems little point in celebrating the start of winter in October in New Zealand! So southern hemisphere Pagans switch the Celtic seasonal festivals around by six months.

Our modern festival of Hallowe'en originated with Samhain. One of the beliefs about Samhain was that it is a night when the veil between the living world and the Otherworld was open and if you weren't careful you might be harassed by all sorts of ghouls and ghosts and bad spirits. Fires were lit to drive them away.

Another less sinister custom of Samhain was that it is the night when our ancestors draw close to us. Pagans will often decorate their altars with photos of the beloved who have died. A group of local Pagans I know go to the local cemetery at Samhain to clean gravestones.

Many Pagans have great reverence for their ancestors; so Samhain - while it was originally an agricultural festival - has become a sort of "day of the dead". In New Zealand and Australia Samhain falls very close to Anzac Day, which is really appropriate because Anzac Day is a holiday to remember those who have died in wars.

I marked Samhain by placing photos of both my immediate ancestors and John's immediate ancestors on our home altar. I made a nice meal, lit some candles and set an extra place at our table for the ancestors. After dinner we drank mulled wine and ate Anzac biscuits {a delicious cookie which many Australians and New Zealanders bake at this time of the year}, and I said some prayers.

It was a very simple celebration, but it was meaningful and it felt good.

A Pagan year, part 1.

Crescent moon at sunset, Castlecliff beach.
Photo by Anne-Marie MacDonald

All my life I've been a spiritual seeker, searching for the Divine.

I grew up with a devout Catholic faith, in a close Catholic community. Until I was a teenager I barely knew anyone who wasn't a Catholic {except for my dad, and he went to Mass with us anyway}. I could go to Mass or say the Rosary right now and feel immediately comforted by those familiar prayers.

As an adult I tried hard to remain a Catholic, but eventually the realisation that I was lacking such essential beliefs as the divinity of Jesus and the authority of the Bible caught up with me.

Later, I felt comfortable with the Quakers. After a while, though, I felt like I was at a Green Party meeting; the Divine was an optional extra and seldom mentioned. For me, the Divine is front and centre. Not optional.

More recently, hooping has been the place where I encounter the Divine. But I never lost my interest in religion. I love to learn about other people's religious beliefs. If I'm honest, part of my interest comes from the desire to put a label on my own beliefs.

One evening last spring I came across the website of the Pagan Federation, based in Britain. I read their Three Principles:

1. Love for and kinship with Nature. Reverence for the life force and its ever-renewing cycles of life and death.
2. A positive morality, in which the individual is responsible for the discovery and development of their true nature in harmony with the outer world and community. 
3. Recognition of the Divine, which transcends gender, acknowledging both the female and male aspect of Deity.

There it is - my own core beliefs and spirituality written out in three short sentences. You can read more about the Pagan Federation's Three Principles here.

I had heard of Paganism and was familiar with the solar festivals, known as The Wheel of the Year. But beyond that I didn't know much about it. Were Pagans witches? What was Wicca, and Druidry? Do you have to cast spells to be a Pagan? Is Paganism even a religion? What's the theology of Paganism?

I didn't know the answer to these questions so I decided to spend a year living as a Pagan, beginning with the festival of Beltane last year {1 November in the southern hemisphere}. What do I mean by "living as a Pagan"? Celebrating all the solar and lunar festivals, reading and meditating and exploring exactly what Paganism is and how it might fit into my life.

It's been interesting so far. I've discovered I don't really want to find a Pagan community - I'm quite happy to be a solitary {which is an acceptable thing to do in many strands of Paganism}. That may change later, though. I've discovered that I am not interested in staging elaborate rituals, I prefer simple rituals with meaningful prayers. I've even written prayers myself. I've discovered I have no interest in doing spellwork, again I'm open to that changing. I'm reading about Pagan theology and I find it fascinating.

I've discovered nothing is off-limits to me in Paganism - I feel comfortable praying the Rosary, meditating, doing yoga, and bowing to the Moon.

So what will happen at Beltane when my year of living as a Pagan is up? I have no idea. I'm open to whatever feels right for me.

For more on Paganism, visit the Pagan Federation's description here.